Eduard Bauernfänger vs. AKEEM KAMAL

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AKEEM KAMAL: STRICTLY PERSONAL

Hauptdarsteller:	Akeem Kamal
	Zollbeamter im Hafen von Accra/Ghana eMail-Adressen: akeem_kamal@officeemail.com, akeem_kamal@mail.com, akeem_kamal@yahoo.com †
	Eduard Bauernfänger
	Inhaber der Nepper & Schlepper GmbH & Co. KG, eines mittelständischen Pharmaunternehmens in Hamburg-Georgswerder eMail-Adresse: eduard.bauernfaenger@betriebsdirektor.de †
Handlung:	Saddams Schergen wollten 3 geheimnisvolle Kisten aus dem Irak nach Ägypten verschieben. Seltsamerweise wurden diese Kisten erstmal über den Seeweg nach Accra/Ghana verschifft, wo sie der wackere Akeem Kamal sicherstellte und einen Helfer sucht, der mit ihm das Zeugs ins Ausland verschiebt.

DEAR FRIEND,

I AM MAKING THIS CONTACT BASED ON MY PRESUMED RELIANCE, AFTER GOING THROUGH A BRIEF PROFILE OF YOUR COMPANY.

I AM ALHAJI AKEEM KAMAL FROM WEST-AFRICA (A GHANAIAN). I AM A CUSTOMS SUPERINTENDENT OFFICER ATTACHE TO THE GHANA PORTS AND HARBOURS AUTHORITY. TEMA, AND I AM CONTACTING YOU TO ESTABLISH THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU IN BENEVOLENT SPIRIT AS TO ENHANCE IMMEDIATE RESOLUTION TO AN OPPORTUNITY RIGHTLY AT HAND.

IT WAS MORE LIKE A DREAM WHEN TWO OF MY COLLEAGUES I INTERCEPTED THREE (3) GIGANTIC TRUNK BOXES AT OUR SEA PORT IN THE EARLY HOURS OF 2ND APRIL, 2003 ON TRANSIT TO CAIRO, EGYPT. SUBSEQUENTLY, THE OWNERS WHOM ACCORDING TO OUR INVESTIGATIONS WERE ARABIANS FROM THE GULF REGION (SOME OF THE SADAM HUSSAIN'S ENTOURRAGE) WITHDREW FROM THE OPERATION SINCE THEY OBVIOUSELY STAND NO CHANCE OF DEFENDING THE SOURCE OF THE CONTENT OF THESE BOXES. ALSO, AS A MATTER OF FACT THAT THIS SAME PEOPLE ARE ACCORDING TO OUR INVESTIGATION FACING CHARGES OF LOOTS AND HUMAN-RIGHT ABUSES IN IRAQ.

AFETR DUE INVESTIGATIONS AND CLEARIFICATIONS, WE HAVE DECIDED TO OWN THESE BOXES WHICH'S CONTENT I CANNOT DISCLOSE NOW FOR SECURITY REASONS, TO OURSELVES. SINCE WE HAVE EARLIER DECIDED NOT TO OFFCIALLY ANNOUNCE THIS INTERCEPTION FOR ABVIOUS REASON

WE URGENTLY NEED AN INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE AS TO ENABLE US TRANSFER THESE BOXES AND THEIR CONTENTS ABROAD. MEANWHILE, I AM ONLY SENDING THIS PROPOSAL TO ASCERTAIN YOUR INTREST AND ONCE POSITIVE RESPONCE IS RECIEVED FROM YOU, ASSURING ME OF YOUR UTMOST COOPERATION, SINCERITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY, I WILL PROCEED TO FURNISH YOU WITH ALL DETAILS AND HOW WE INTEND TO CARRY OUT THIS RISK FREE TRANSACTION WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY.

THANKS FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED COOPERATION.

ALHAJI AKEEM KAMAL.

Das übliche Blabla in Großschrift

Dear Mr. Kamal,

your interesting email made me very courious, what can I do for you? Please
send me further details.

kind regards

Euduard Bauernfänger

DEAR BROTHER,

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE TO MY BUSINESS PROPOSAL. I APPRECIATE THE BRIEF CONTENT OF YOUR MAIL, WHICH CLEARLY INDICATE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ASSIST US EFFECTIVELY IN REALIZING THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.

I HAVE PRAYED AND COMMITTED THIS TRANSACTION INTO THE HANDS OF GOD ALMIGHTY AND I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP I AM ESTABLISHING WITH YOU ON TRUST AND IN BENEVOLENT SPIRIT WILL NOT LEAD TO JEOPARDY, RATHER, YOUR UTMOST COOPERATION, SINSERITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY WILL BE GIVEN TO ME IN COURSE OF THIS TRANSACTION AS YOU CLEARLY INDICATED IN YOUR MAIL.

THERE WILL BE NEED FOR YOU TO COME OVER TO ACCRA GHANA IMMEDIATELY FOR WE TO MEET AND DISCUSS OUR HEARTS AND ALL MODALITIES, ENHANCING IMMEDIATE COMMENCEMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION.

IN CONFIDENCE, I AM REVEALING TO YOU THAT WHAT WE HAVE INTERCEPTED IS THREE (3) METAL BOXES FULL OF UNITED STATES PROOF MINT NOTES IN HUNDRED BILLS, AMOUNTING TO $168 MILLION. WE HAVE CAREFULLY CONDUCTED OUR INVESTIGATION AND FOUND OUT THAT THE OWNERS (ARABIANS FROM THE GULF REGION) HAVE WITHDRAWN SINCE THEY ARE AWARE OF THE IMPLECATION OF THEIR DEEDS. HENCE, WE DECIDED NOT TO OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE IT AS TO ENRICH OURSELVES WITH THESE FUNDS. MY BROTHER, WE HAVE SUCCEEDED IN DEPOSITING THE BOXES WITH A REPUTABLE SECURITY FIRM OVER HERE AND WE SHALL PROCEED TO CLEAR THEM ON YOUR ARRIVAL TO ACCRA.

WE INTEND TO INVEST THESE FUNDS ABROAD THROUGH YOUR ASSISTANCE AND WE HAVE AGREED TO GIVE YOU 25% OF THE TOTAL VALUE.

IT IS THEREFORE NECESSARY AT THIS STAGE THAT WE SPEAK OVER THE PHONE, AT LEAST TO ENHANCE MUTUAL TRUST AND PROPER UNDERSTANDING. I WILL EXPECT YOUR URGENT CALL ON: + 871 763593940. IT IS A SATTLITE PHONE AQUIRED PURPOSELY FOR THIS TRANSACTION AS TO ENSURE SECURITY.

PLEASE CALL IMEEDIATELY AS TO ENABLE ME FURNISH YOU WITH MORE ELABORATE DETAILS.

THANKS.

Akeem.

+871 763593940.

168 MILLIONEN US$? Dagegen sind die sonst üblichen 20 - 35 Mio. echter Kinderkram. Eduard ist überwältigt und wünscht sofortigen Kontakt.

Dear Mr. Kamal,

I am very excited about the huge sum of 168,000,000 US$, that will be 42 Million Dollars for me if our deal succeeds! In my wildest dreams I never expected to get rich so easily and I nearly got a heart attack!

You can be sure that everything will be handled with absolute discretion and reliability.

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I am Eduard Bauernfaenger, 45 years old owner and chairman of the Nepper & Schlepper Pharmaceuticals GmbH & Co. KG in Hamburg-Georgswerder/Germany, a very respected mid scale company.

I am very much interested in that deal because my company wants to make a big investment in a Trollium mine in the former german colony Togo. Trollium is an important mineral for the production of the Merkerit[TM] brain activity enhancer, one of our major products. Therefore I will travel to Lome, the capital of Togo within the next 10 days. From there it is not far from Ghana, so we can arrange a meeting soon.

Despite other financial markets the rates for investment credits in Germany are quite high and government grants and loans are very poor. It is just the right time for your proposal, so please send me the further details ASAP.

Before we start discussing the details of the transaction I need of course first some confirmation about your identity. Please send me a few documents proving your identity and position at the Accra harbour authority.

Please fax the documents to the number listed below and email them as attachments to me.

FAX +49-40-65492716

Please keep the files small because there is only very limited space on the email account.

There seems to be a problem while trying to contact you on your sattelite phone, I always get errors like "net overloaded" or "net unreachable" on my GSM cell phone.

Maybe it's better that you contact me, please use this mobile number:

PHONE +49-173-7968297

I'm looking forward to your answer.

Yours sincerely

Eduard Bauernfaenger

So ein Zufall, dass Ede gerade jetzt nach Afrika fliegen muss, dazu noch in ein Nachbarland.
Ob Akeem wohl an das "Democratic Movement of Ghana" faxt? Ist eigentlich auch egal, er sendet sowieso aus Nigeria. Die Handynummer gehört einem SMS-Spammer, dummerweise hat Ede ziemliche Telefonprobleme...

Dear Mr. Kamal,

have you received my email? Please respond ASAP.

Yours

Eduard Bauernfänger

Akeem meldete sich eine ganze Weile nicht, das macht Eduard echt nervös.

Dear Friend,
How are you,I am still trying to reach you,but your phone has been switch off,please let me have another number which i can reach you or please give me a call,i will be waiting to hear from you.

Akeem

Unser armer Akeem hat sich wohl die Fingerchen wund tefloniert und keiner ging ran. Selbstverständlich gibt es für alles eine vernünftige Erklärung und Alternativen:

Dear Mr. Kemal,

Do you feel good?

I am very sorry that you could not reach me, but I am at an important pharmacological congress in Berlin. I was in hurry so I forgot my cell phone at home.
A member of my staff who attended me gave me his, the numer of that phone is: +49-172-121720. Here in Berlin I stay at the famous Stunden Hotel, my rooms phone/fax numer is: +49 - 30 - 4 47 90 53. I'll be there not before late afternoon. Have you send me the demanded documents of your identity and position? If not, you may send them to hotels fax number and my email adress. I have attached you some pictures of me and a copy of my passport to this email. You can then easily recognize me when I come to Accra.
Yours faithfully
Eduard Bauerfänger

Ob Akeem diesmal bei den Vodafone Stars anruft und an die Ghanaische Botschaft faxt? Die Bilderchen sind nur willkürlich aus den System-Verzeichnis zusammengeklaubte DLLs, die mit sprechenden Namen und der merkwürdigen Endung ".ppp" versehen wurden. Natürlich kann Mr. Kamal wenig damit anfangen, dafür schrub er gleich 3 Mal:

Dear Brother,

I have tried many times again to reach you but to no avail. However, Iwill continue till I get through. Unfortunately I cannot open your picture attachments. Maybe, you can change the programme you use in saving them.

Mr. Eduard, I have decided with utmost trust to give you the site of the Security Company where the consignments are kept so that you can access the details by yourself. The site is: http://www.goldcoastvaults.com Clickon enter to take you to the second page where you will need the NAME and PIN to access the account details. The NAME is (Akeem) and the PIN is 042/ak/vd/04-03.

Please check the details and get back to me. You can call me with your hotel number but not amobile phone.

Thanks.

Akeem.

Ein Wunder™, Akeem beherrscht ja sogar Klein/Großschrift!

Dear Mr. Kamal,

how are you?
The pictures I sent to you are in proprietary Pixy Picture Publisher (.ppp) format, this is the only available format of my laptops handscanner and I am incapable of converting them before I be back in my office. Sorry, I did not notice that you are unable to open them, but I've attached a special viewer programm in this email so you can view them instant.

Mr. Kamal thank you for your great trust in me, I just visited the security companys website. I clicked on 'login' and then filled the first form (Deposit Details) with the Client Name (Akeem) and Client PIN# (042/ak/vd/04-03) you gave me, but it did not work.
Webpage said "You have entered an invalid information". What's wrong?

greetings

Eduard Bauernfänger

Wie immer ist Ede um Ausreden nicht verlegen. Hilfsbereit wie er nun mal ist, hat Ede gleich ein passendes Progrämmchen an die mail gehängt. Der "PictureViewer.exe" ist aber nichts anderes als ein IBS Dialer, dem mit Hilfe des Ressource Hacker Tools ein anderes Programmicon und ein passender splash screen anstelle des anzüglichen Originals untergeschoben wurde. Wird Akeem darauf reinfallen? Leider funktioniert aber auch der versprochene Zugang nicht:

Dear Mr. Eduard,

Hope all is well with you and your entire business. I am sorry I was not with my file when I gave you the details of the consignemnt. Please go back on the site: http://www.goldcoastvaults.com and use the name (AKEEM KAMAL) and PIN (04242003) to access our details.

Please confirm as soon as you get through so that we can move on next line of action.

Thanks.

A. Kamal.

Schade, er lässt sich zumindest nichts anmerken. Schauen wir uns dafür aber mal die "Security Company" im Detail an. Der whois-eintrag sieht nicht ganz koscher aus:

Registrant:
Bayo Lawal
12 Adeola Odeku Street
off Admirality Way
Lekki, 0000
United Kingdom

Registered through: NewDomainReg
Domain Name: GOLDCOASTVAULTS.COM
Created on: 17-Jun-03
Expires on: 17-Jun-04
Last Updated on: 19-Jun-03

Administrative Contact:
Lawal, Bayo bayo-lawal@operamail.com
12 Adeola Odeku Street
off Admirality Way
Lekki, 0000
United Kingdom
00234 000 Fax --

Hm, noch nicht einmal 14 Tage alt, diese Firma.
Die Vorwahl 00234 ist AFAIK Nigeria. Ob es in England wohl eine Stadt namens "Lekki" gibt, mit der "Adeola Odeku Street"? Ich glaube nicht... Aber Ede lässt sich von solchen Kleinigkeiten nicht beirren, schliesslich winkt die ganz grosse Kohle:

Dear. Mr. Kamel,

everything is fine with me and my business. The congress brought me a big order from the Bundesamt für Merkbefreiung (BafMbf) for 50,000 units Merkerit[tm], so I am very satisfied. Hope you also feel fine. I just visited security companys website, now it works. Everything is looking very good, the company seems to be very trustworthy. Do you have any photos of the trunks? What will be our next steps?

kind regards
Eduard

Dear Brother,

On what number do I reach you? Cant you call me from where you are? There is absolute need for us to communicate on the phone as to arrange our next line of action. We are accumulating a lot of demurrage on the consignment and we need to act fast so that we dont inccure too much that we cannot afford since we cannot open the boxes in the security company for security reasons.

I have attached photograph of the boxes for your confirmation.

Please try and call me urgently so that we can finalise.

Thanks.

Akeem.

Immer diese Telefonitis, man kann doch alles bestens per eMail besprechen.

Die Photos der Kisten kommen mir seltsam vertraut vor, die hat mir doch Madame Abacha bereits geschickt. Ob ich Akeem mal auf diese Merkwürdigkeit anspreche?

...we cannot open the boxes in the security company for security reasons.

Hä? Ich nix verstehen...

Dear Akeem,

communications between africa and europe seems to be very difficult. My FAX number is +49-40-65492716 and my cell phones number is +49-173-7968297. I don't have any idea why this does not work. Alternatively you may try my secretarys (Hans Wurst) phone, that number is +49-171-0765000, tell him you are John Doe from ACME Ltd./USA and that you want to speak to Herr Bauernfänger in an important business case. It is better for me not to talk to you with my phone from home, cause that line may be intercepted by the greedy german financial police, so I prefer to communicate by email, that's safer.
What does that mean "we cannot open the boxes in the security company for
security reasons"? I can't understand that, isn't the security company a safe place?
I have attached two personal photos from me and a photo of my companys headquarter.

Yours sincerely
Eduard Bauernfänger
Eduard Zimmermann in Aktenzeichen XY

Die Zentrale der Nepper & Schlepper GmbH & Co. KG

Die beiden Photos zeigen den guten alten Ede Zimmermann, eines davon vor dem Aktenzeichen XY-Logo. Dazu die peinliche Frage nach der "security company". Ob Mr. Kamel jetzt was schnallt?

Dear Ed.,

I have called you two times this morning but the phone rang without responce. Please advice when to call and get you on line.

Thanks.

Akeem.

Die Bilder von Ede Zimmermann scheinen Akeem nicht gestört zu haben, aber die Frage nach der security compamy hat er geflissentlich überlesen. Dafür will er schon wieder telefonieren!

Dear Friend,
sorry, but I did not notice any ringin on my phone this morning.
Tomorrow I will travel to Lomé to complete my deal with the trollium mine corporation in Togo. I am now on the way to Frankfurt Airport. Sun Express flight SXP 4711 will arrive at 17:18 local time at Lomé International Airport and I will stay at the Hotel DeVille.

If you want to visit me, Hotels adress is 1289 Route d' Aného, Lomé.

My rooms telephone and fax number will be:
Tel: +228 - 21 43 13
Fax: +228 - 21 89 27

Internet is available in the hotel.

I think it will take up to 3 days to finish my business and then my friend, we will meet in Accra to finish our business.

kind regards

Eduard B.

***** Advertisement *****
Nepper & Schlepper Pharma proudly presents Herbal Enlargement[tm]

***** Advertisement *****

Diese ständige Telefonsucht geht mir langsam wirklich auf den Keks. Es wird Zeit, die Sache mal etwas zu forcieren und die Koffer zu packen.
Diesmal als HTML-mail (würg) versandt, mit einem schönen grossen Werbebild für Pimmelverlängerungspillen der Nepper & Schlepper Pharma AG.
Hotel DeVille heisst AFAIK auf französisch Rathaus und die Adresse stammt vom Office National Togolais du Tourisme.
Sun Express ist der lausige Billigflieger nach Antalya. Wird Akeen jetzt endlich was merken?

Dear Mr. Eduard,

Please email me as soon as you get to Lome.

I wish you a safe flight.

Akeem

Nö, er ist völlig merkbefreit.

Hello my friend,

I just arrived in my hotel here in Lome. It is very hot here, first I'm going to have a cold beer at the hotels lobby bar, then I will retire. Tomorrow I will meet Engineer Kunta Kinte from the German Togo Trollium Mining Corporation, together we will visit the mine facilities at Salambo. I think I'll be back in the hotel in the late afternoon.
bye
Eduard

Bis auf das kalte Bier ist natürlich alles frei erfunden, dieser geistige Müllschlucker frisst wirklich alles. Kann jemand wirklich so dämlich sein oder will der mich jetzt verarschen? Ich fange langsam an zu zweifeln...

Dear Brother,

You are wellcome in Africa and thank God for your safe arrival. Please confirm on what phone number should I call you.

Thanks.

Akeem.

Mr. Eduard,

I tried calling you this morning on the numbers given below but none could go through. Please call me or provide me with a number to reach you.

Thanks.

Akeem.

Zum Telefonieren bleibt leider keine Zeit, denn die Ereignisse nehmen einen echt dramatischen Verlauf:

DEAR FRIEND,

PLEASE HELP ME, I WAS ROBBED!
I'm sitting in my room in the hotel with a bloody shirt and a broken nose.
When we returned from Salambo this afternoon our jeep was stopped by a black Kleinbus, four guys with shotguns and kalashnikovs jumped out and we were mistreated and robbed.
Engineer Kinte and my assistant Hans Wurst are lying in Lomes central hospital, nearly dead and in coma.
My whole money, credit cards and passport where stolen and a police officer told me that there is no chance to get it back.
Having no money I can not travel to Accra and I must leave the hotel tomorrow.
Fortunately my flight ticket is in the hotels safe, but I need some boodle money to get a substitute passport and leave the country.
Dear friend, could you please take a bundle of Dollars from one of the trunks at the security company and come to Lome?
What else can I do, I am very desperate. Otherwise I have to return to Germany with empty hands.

Sorry, I gave you the number of the minig corporation, hotels telephone number is +228 - 22 35 00 05

Please help me, thank you

Eduard

Wird Akeem Eduard zur "Hilfe" eilen? Hat er bereits seine Kidnapperbande zusammengestellt?

Dear Henk,

I am really sorry about what happend to you. However, I have tried all I could to call the last number you gave but to no avail. I hope you are not playing games with me.

CALL me.

Akeem.

So gaaanz langsam scheint bei Akeem der Groschen zu fallen.
Henk? Ich heisse immer noch Eduard. Was kann ich dafür, dass Telefonieren in Togo so schwer ist.

Dear Akeem,

you can't imagine what has happened to me in this awful country. When I was going down the streets of Lome to buy me an international newspaper two police men asked they wanted to examine my passport.
But I had no passport, since it was stolen! Then they wanted money from me, but I did not have enough. So they escorted me to a detention center, where they asked me a lot of questions, what are you doing here in Togo, where is your visum etc.
I was held here for 4 days - I was allowed only one telephone call a day.
IS THIS JUSTICE?
I ended up staying in cells - sharing with some other african people - they whispered to me that they were imprisoned because of article 419. What does that mean, article 419? Some of them were brought to room 101, I heard them screaming from there, it was a nightmare. Fortunately german ambassador von Halmackenreuther paid a bond for me and today I was freed.
Meanwhile my family has transfered me 10,000,00 Dollars by telegraph and I have proceeded as quick as possible out of this horrible country.
I am now in Accra at the Golden Tulip Hotel, my rooms number is +233-24-516981. Please call me ASAP, as I lost my filofax and have no phone number from you.

When will we meet?

regards

Eduard

Und hier ist die Geschichte zuende, denn Akeem meldete sich nicht mehr. Schade. Zur Strafe habe ich mich bei Yahoo beschwert, nach kurzer Zeit war sein Account dort Geschichte.

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